Count Dracula Tweets

Today is World Dracula Day.  And even though it’s his big day, the Count took time to jump on Twitter.  Here are The Top Count Dracula Tweets.

 

 

  • I don’t drink wine.  I’m more into White Claw these days.
  • For the last time, NO . . . I’m not Rudy Giuliani!
  • Turning into a bat used to be my best party trick.  Thanks, COVID!
  • Stop asking me about Bram Stoker.  I’m my OWN MAN!
  • I thought I was evil, but damn, Amazon!
  • Gonna buy a house.  Looking for a three-coffin, two-bath.
  • Damn, Grubhub doesn’t list the Red Cross blood bank as a delivery option.
  • Wife swears she’s not trying to murder me.  Yet whenever we get pizza, Uber Eats just HAPPENS to throw in an order of garlic knots?!?
  • I will suck your blood!  Especially if you have coronavirus antibodies.
  • The worst part about inviting the Wolf Man to your party?  Cleaning up the backyard the next morning.
  • Maybe Blacula WAS cooler, but he only got two movies!
  • I’m fine with getting COVID-19.  Because I’m okay with COFFIN!  Hey, I’m here all week!
  • Just because I gained some weight in quarantine doesn’t make it okay to bully. #StopCallingMeHampire #BeBest
  • Yo, @Frankenstein.  We’re still in lockdown.  Holding a bar mitzvah for your son is seriously irresponsible!
  • Stuck at home, sleeping all day: now you all know how I feel.
  • I’d love to be on Instagram, but I don’t even show up in my own selfies!