Pat Urban3

Signs You’re Not Getting a Christmas Bonus

  They fired you back in April There’s a cover charge to get into the company Christmas party Your boss keeps referring to you as “that one” You’re the only one who didn’t get keys to the employee restroom You’ve been offered a “buyout” consisting of magic beans The owner of the company skipped town,…

Happy_FI18

Things Walt Disney Would Say If He Were Alive Today

Walt Disney would have been 118 today.  Which brings us to this list of The Top Things Walt Disney Would Say If He Were Alive Today. So let me get this straight:  Is she Hannah with the wig ON and Miley with the wig OFF, or Hannah with the wig OFF and Miley with the wig…

BUS_FI_2019

Popular Pet Names

Rover.com just released the results of its study into the most popular dog and cat names of 2019.  And here’s what they found . . . Female dogs:  Bella . . . Luna . . . Lucy . . . Daisy . . . Lily. Male dogs:  Max . . . Charlie . . .…

Pat Urban3

Signs The Irishman Is Too Long

  A single viewing counts as “binge watching” During the course of watching it, Netflix raised their fees You saw it in a theater, and the theater owner charged you rent Your flesh is now permanently fused to your sofa When you started watching, the real Jimmy Hoffa was still alive You watched it with Spanish subtitles…

BUS_FI_2019

Sports Quotes

 “USA Today” has a list of the 40 best sports quotes of all time, whether they’re funny, inspirational, or just about winning and losing.  Here are the Top Three in each category: Inspirational Quotes: 1.  Mario Andretti:  “If you have everything under control, you’re not moving fast enough.” 2.  Mickey Mantle:  “During my 18 years I came…

Pat Urban3

Least Popular Christmas Carols

  Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer and Now She’s in the ICU The Morbidly Obese Drummer Boy All I Want for Christmas is You and Maybe Your Hot Cousin I Saw Santa Kissing the Neighbor Lady I’ll Be Home for Christmas. Actually, I’m Moving Back In, Mom & Dad! Frosty the Cold-Hearted Spouse…

Pat Urban3

Signs You Had a Bad Thanksgiving

  This is the first you’re realizing that it was Thanksgiving Three words: Food Poisoning Hotline Your family is still trying to raise your bail You went to the Macy’s parade and got knocked unconscious by a runaway SpongeBob balloon You’ll forever be known as “the guy who barfed all over nana” You ate so much you…

BUS_FI_2019

Here Are the Ages When Different Parts of Your Body Start Aching

Apparently our bodies only have about 40 good years in them before they start breaking down. A new survey asked people what ages they felt different parts of their bodies start to fall apart . . . and basically everything starts going south around 40. The survey found that we start noticing things don’t work…

Pat Urban3

Thanksgiving Fun “Facts”  

In honor of Thanksgiving Day, please enjoy this list of The Top Thanksgiving Fun Facts. Thanksgiving is ranked as America’s second favorite holiday.  Just behind McRib Day. 9% of Americans spend Thanksgiving eating at a restaurant.  And 100% of surviving Jackson 5 members spend it WORKING at a restaurant. At the first Thanksgiving, the Indians added…

Pat Urban3

Things You REALLY Don’t Want to Hear at Thanksgiving

Hey, save some of these stories for when Uncle Jim sobers up! Ugh. Who brought this weird-smelling yellow stuff? Mom, Dad – I got some interesting results from my Ancestry DNA test Put the Detroit Lions game on! Anyone know the symptoms of salmonella poisoning? We don’t eat until we’re sure somebody knows the Heimlich…

BUS_FI_2019

Study: Your Emails Are Bad For The Environment

Now your emails are ruining the environment. A study, commissioned by OVO Energy, England’s leading energy supply company, found that sending email has such a high carbon footprint that just cutting out a single email a day — such as ones that simply say “LOL” — would cut 16,433 tons of carbon caused by the…

Pat Urban3

Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Charlie Brown

Today is Good Grief Day, a day to celebrate Charles Schulz’s birthday and his “Peanuts” franchise.  So it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Charlie Brown. The original title for “Peanuts” was, “Let’s Teach Kids How to Wallow in Misery”. If you play the school teacher’s dialog backwards, you’ll hear…

BUS_FI_2019

Habits That Stay With You From The Military

Business Insider has come up with this list of 6 weird military habits that stick with you long after you leave the service: 1. Keeping a bug-out bag in your trunk. (A survival kit that contains the essential items you’d need to survive for at least 72 hours in an emergency scenario. Flood, tornado, zombie…

Pat Urban3

Signs the Butterball Turkey Hotline Operator is Nuts

  Insists on speaking in the voice of lovable character “Timmy the Turkey” Demands to know if you’re a cop before they tell you anything Keeps muttering about somebody stealing strawberries Just agreed to be the new head coach of the Cincinnati Bengals You ask a question about basting; he informs you he’s not wearing…

BUS_FI_2019

Rejected Slogans for the Pabst Blue Ribbon 99-Pack

Get it? 99 Beers? Get it? Take one down and pass it around. The 99 beers to have when you’re having more than 98 Fits perfectly in a double-wide Good thing you bought that pickup truck Pair it with Marlboro’s 99-pack smokes promo Binging’ ain’t just for Netflix anymore Why just fall off the wagon…

Pat Urban3

Mister Rogers Fun Facts

Since “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” with Tom Hanks as Mister Rogers is now in theaters, it’s a good time for this list of The Top Mister Rogers Fun Facts. He once shived Captain Kangaroo in a bar fight. Playing the piano was his favorite stress reducer . . . well that, and blunts he always hid…

Pat Urban3

Top Excuses For Not Quitting Smoking

In honor of today being the Great American Smokeout, let’s check out this list of The Top Excuses for Not Quitting Smoking. You’ve heard that the next fashion craze will be designer oxygen tanks. It calms you down . . . otherwise you’d go all Myles Garrett on everyone. You consider anything condemned by the…

BUS_FI_2019

Make More Friends Online

People don’t just date online. Making FRIENDS online is more common now . . . like, real friends you might eventually meet up with in person. And a recent study figured out a simple trick for making more of them. You just have to do one thing: Join as many groups as possible. Computer scientists…

Pat Urban3

Best Things About Being a Teacher

Since today is Future Teachers of America Day, it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Best Things About Being a Teacher. Nobody accuses you of doing your job just for the money. You don’t even have to earn a “World’s Best Teacher” mug . . . you can buy those everywhere.…

BUS_FI_2019

Things You Should Never Do At An Office Party

It’s never too early for a list of reminders of What Not To Do At An Office Party, from Deslided.com. Don’t: – Bring chips to a potluck – Dress poorly – Talk behind someone’s back – Ask for a promotion – Get drunk – Drive drunk – Let a coworker drive drunk – Smoke pot…