Pat Urban3

Tips for Using Your Tax Refund

Are you expecting a tax refund?  If so, before you blow it all, take a minute and check out this list of The Top Tips for Using Your Tax Refund.   Buy something sweet for your spouse.  Like a vacation to Wuhan, China. Pay off your bookie first, then the bank. Splurge and buy the love…

Pat Urban3

Surprises Planned for the New Indiana Jones Movie

De-aging effects will make Harrison Ford look under 80 Climactic wheelchair race! Special appearance by Chewbacca. Harrison Ford will perform all of his own airplane crashes Indy spends half the movie looking for his bifocals For this film, “Senior Citizen” prices will only apply to people over 90 Most of the artifacts that Indy finds…

Pat Urban3

Possibly True Presidential “Facts”

  Neither Washington nor Lincoln endorsed mattresses during their lifetime William McKinley drove foreign leaders to distraction with his “Pull my finger” routine The “G” in Warren G. Harding stood for “Gandalf” Franklin Pierce charged tourists $2 to take a daguerreotype with him Barack Obama is the first president never to use the phrase “Jeez…

BUS_FI_2019

Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards

It’s Valentine’s Day and perhaps you got a card.  But we’re betting that it isn’t similar to anything on this list of The Top Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards.   To me you’ll always be desirous . . . even if you catch the coronavirus. Of all the people in the world, I love you the mostest…

Pat Urban3

Signs You’re Giving a Bad Oscar Acceptance Speech

  The orchestra doesn’t so much “play you off” as gang tackles you An embarrassed Quentin Tarantino is shouting, “watch your language!” You’re being booed by the president of Price-Waterhouse Tom Hanks just gave you the finger Moments after the speech, your career shows up in the “In Memoriam” segment Sally Field stand up to…

Pat Urban3

Things That Annoy Jeff Bezos

The brother of Jeff Bezos’s girlfriend is suing Bezos for defamation.  Naturally, that goes near the top of this list of The Top Things That Annoy Jeff Bezos.    Cheapskates who refuse to spring for Prime, but still think they can hit him up for free shipping. When his girlfriend slips up and says, “Let’s Netflix…

BUS_FI_2019

Things That Turn 35 This Year

It’s time for one of those lists that serve no purpose other than to make you feel old.  MentalFloss.com found 40 things that turn 35 this year.  For you non-math majors, that means things that came into this world in 1985.    Here are some of the highlights:    1.  “Back to the Future” 2.  New…

Happy_FI18

Signs You’re Watching a Bad Fast & Furious Sequel  

  All the characters have kids and drive mini-vans The big throwdown is between Judi Dench and Angela Lansbury Seven words: From the people who brought you Cats It’s called Fast & Furious: Lego Highway There’s a ton of product placement for the Toyota Prius Every car chase includes a pedestrian yelling “slow down!” Much more emphasis…

Pat Urban3

Dumb Guy Complaints about The Masked Singer

  Concept is too complicated! Hard to judge true singing talent through a sweaty bunny head Prefer to have all my shows hosted by Steve Harvey No lifelines, like on that Millionaire show Jenny McCarthy never takes off her top Never heard of these singers – or the judges! Ken Jeong? Isn’t he the leader of North Korea? Too…

Pat Urban3

Little-Known Facts About Punxsutawney Phil

It’s going to be an early spring ― if you ask Punxsutawney Phil. The famous forecasting groundhog did not see his shadow when he emerged from his burrow at sunrise early Sunday for the second consecutive year   Close friends call him “Punx” Has a meteorology degree from Penn State Never sought the spotlight Released…

BUS_FI_2019

Reasons Your Super-Sunday Super-Sucked

 Did you enjoy Super Bowl Sunday?  Sadly, not everyone did.  Here are The Top Reasons Your Super Bowl Sunday Sucked.    Know that early morning call from your doctor where she said, “You have coronavirus”?  That. The mute button on your remote doesn’t work and Joe Buck announced the game.  You skipped the game to watch…

Pat Urban3

Signs You’re Watching a Bad Super Bowl Halftime Show

  It’s being produced from prison by Phil Spector The theme is “The Wonderful World of Recycling” It features clog dancing AND mixed martial arts It’s called “10,000 Kazoos” but you count fewer than 800 Madonna does the entire show from a Craftmatic adjustable bed The headliner is Flo from Progressive The performance draws a penalty…

Pat Urban3

Signs You’d Make a Bad Oscar Host

  Somebody’s going to have to explain to you who this “Oscar” is You only want the gig to tell the world about Dianetics You’ll do it for forty bucks and a Popeye’s chicken sandwich First you have to process this whole Megxit thing Four words: prison gang facial tattoos When it comes right down…

BUS_FI_2019

Valentine’s Day Survey

A new survey by Plenty of Fish reveals that 43% of singles say Valentine’s Day is the most pressure-filled holiday of the year. Other findings: – 40% of people wish Valentine’s Day could be cancelled – 52% of Millennials say Valentine’s Day is stressful – 51% of people feel pressure to be romantic on Valentine’s…

Pat Urban3

Things You Didn’t Know About the Centers for Disease Control

Between the Coronavirus scare and it being a very bad flu season, the CDC is in the news a lot lately.  So it’s a good time to check out The Top Things You Didn’t Know About the Centers for Disease Control.     They tackle medical mysteries, like “Why does cancer spread?”  And “How is Keith…

BUS_FI_2019

20 Superbowl Factoids

20 Superbowl Factoids We’re just four days away from Super Bowl 54 . . . so we’ve assembled a list of 20 interesting facts about this year’s matchup between the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs to get you ready.  Here they are:    1.  The Chiefs and the 49ers have never met in a Super Bowl.  But this…

Pat Urban3

Rejected Las Vegas Tourism Slogans

Las Vegas has updated their tourism slogan to “What Happens Here, Only Happens Here.”  Find out what gems were passed over with this list of The Top Rejected Las Vegas Tourism Slogans.   Where Your Kid’s College Fund Goes to Die. Vegas Is for Lovers . . . Of All the Stuff Your Wife Doesn’t Want…

BUS_FI_2019

This Year’s Most Unusual Super Bowl Prop Bets

Here are some of this year’s more unusual prop bets on the Super Bowl. – Will Gladys Knight forget a word during the National Anthem – Will any member of the Pips join Gladys for the National Anthem – Will any scoring drive take less time than the National Anthem – Will Joe Buck mention…

Pat Urban3

Signs You’re Watching a Bad Nicolas Cage Movie

He’s playing Nicolas Cage, whether the script indicates it or not It leaves you longing for a Shia LaBeouf movie He’s playing both FDR and Eleanor Roosevelt Four words: Wicker Man Part 2 He’s listed in the credits as “Francis Ford Coppola’s Idiot Nephew” He wanted a writing credit even though none of the actual writers…

Pat Urban3

Surprises in the New Ghostbusters Movie

Thirty years after last appearing as squad leader Peter Venkman in 1989’s Ghostbusters 2, Bill Murray is set to reprise his beloved role in the upcoming sequel Ghostbusters: Afterlife. The new movie stars Paul Rudd as a science teacher whose students find themselves in the middle of a ghostbusting mystery. Though Murray, 69, made a cameo in…