Sentences You Never Want to Read in Your Teenager’s Diary

15% of us have secretly read someone’s diary.  And if you’re part of this shamelessly nosy crew, you deserve to encounter anything from today’s list of Sentences You Never Want to Read in Your Teenager’s Diary.

  • I found where mom and dad hide their weed.
  • When I stare at things, they burst into flames.
  • Today I met a real-life congressman named “Matt Gaetz”!
  • Why do I look so much like Nick Cannon?
  • I can’t believe how many more followers I’ve gotten since I started dancing in my bikini.
  • I don’t need friends.  I have the Slender Man.
  • When I grow up, I want to work in radio.