Things Every New Parent Should Know

Almost half of millennial parents don’t know the words to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”.  And why should they?  They should fill their heads with much more important stuff, like anything on today’s list of Things Every New Parent Should Know.

  • Nobody cares when your baby makes a “poopy.”
  • It will take at least a week to install the car seat.
  • You’ll need to be able to complete an 8-hour workday during a half-hour nap.
  • No one on a plane will judge you for putting a shrieking baby in the overhead bin.
  • It’s better to let your baby cry herself to sleep.  Unless you live next to me, then shove a pacifier in her mouth for the next three years.
  • Babies have undeveloped taste buds.  Don’t waste money on Gerber cilantro.
  • Put a luggage tag around your baby’s ear in case you lose her while traveling.
  • Take a selfie ASAP so you’ll always know what you looked like when you still had hope.