The guy who invented the cellphone wants people to cast aside his creation and “get a life.” But your phone obsession isn’t the only thing that makes you a real-life member of the Geek Squad . . . as you’ll see with today’s list of the Other Signs You Need to Get a Life.
- Your coworkers at Taco Bell nicknamed you “The Lifer.”
- Know how Serena Williams gets “tennis elbow”? You get “Doritos Elbow.”
- You have a personalized license plate that says . . . No, that’s it. You just have a personalized license plate.
- Your freezer is full of pizza rolls, your dresser is full of pajama bottoms, and your bed is full of cats.
- You know who would win in a fight between Voldemort and Darth Vader.
- The only eye contact you ever made with a woman was a Macy’s mannequin.
- Your idea of “aiming higher” is to relocate from your parents’ basement to their attic.