Signs You Need to Get a Life

The guy who invented the cellphone wants people to cast aside his creation and “get a life.”  But your phone obsession isn’t the only thing that makes you a real-life member of the Geek Squad . . . as you’ll see with today’s list of the Other Signs You Need to Get a Life.

  • Your coworkers at Taco Bell nicknamed you “The Lifer.”
  • Know how Serena Williams gets “tennis elbow”?  You get “Doritos Elbow.”
  • You have a personalized license plate that says . . .  No, that’s it.  You just have a personalized license plate.
  • Your freezer is full of pizza rolls, your dresser is full of pajama bottoms, and your bed is full of cats.
  • You know who would win in a fight between Voldemort and Darth Vader.
  • The only eye contact you ever made with a woman was a Macy’s mannequin.
  • Your idea of “aiming higher” is to relocate from your parents’ basement to their attic.