The Dumbest Results from the New U.S. History Poll

A new U.S. history poll proves, yet again, that America is full of idiots.  One in eight Americans can’t name our first President . . . 20% don’t know that 18 is when you can vote . . . and 4% think Ben Franklin invented airplanes But the depths of their ignorance can be wildly entertaining, as you’ll see with today’s list of the Dumbest Results from the New U.S. History Poll.

  • 86% say the Pilgrims landed on Chris Rock.
  • 74% think you enter the Gettysburg Address into Apple Maps.
  • 64% say the Mason-Dixon Line is sold exclusively at Bloomingdale’s.
  • 82% think “Iwo Jima” is one of those little faces you text.
  • 54% say the War of 1812 was in 1963.
  • 68% think the Supreme Court decided “Alien vs. Predator”.
  • 93% think D-Day is a rapper.
  • 59% say Abraham Lincoln was shot by Mr. Peanut for stealing his top hat.
  • 100% say the names of Christopher Columbus’ ships were the Kim, the Khloe, and the Kourtney.