A Southwest passenger AirDropped a junk-pic to every passenger on his flight. So, add “I just sent you a photo of my junk” to today’s list of Things You Never Want to Hear from the Person Next to You on a Plane.
- Don’t mind the blood. I always cough it up when I have COVID.
- I’m an anxious flyer. Can I hold your hand during takeoff? And landing? And the entire time we’re in the air?
- Leave some room on the armrest to dry my socks.
- Your lips look so soft. May I touch them?
- Instead of buying a ticket for my newborn, I stuck her in the overhead bin.
- I can’t believe I made it through TSA with these exotic snakes taped to my leg.
- Can you distract the flight attendant while I light my shoe?
- My name’s Rick. But friends call me The Human Fart Machine.