Things You Never Want to Hear While Exploring the Great Outdoors

Half of Americans prefer staying indoors this summer.  We can understand why.  Between the wild animals, drought, and monkeypox, the Great Outdoors can be anything but.  See what we mean with today’s list ofThings You Never Want to Hear While Exploring the Great Outdoors.

  • You know . . . the closer that animal gets, the less it looks like a dog.
  • Why am I hearing the theme from “Deliverance”?
  • Know how I said those leaves were okay to use as toilet paper?  I was wrong.
  • I can’t get any cell phone reception.  Maybe we can borrow a phone from that guy in the hockey mask?
  • That bear scat looks fresh.  Tastes it, too.
  • Look, Mommy.  That funny-looking worm has a rattle on its tail!
  • Your bungee cord is the one with duct tape.
  • GRRRRRRR!