Gifts Dad REALLY Wants for Father’s Day

A poll finds that the top gift dads want on Sunday is a nice meal with family.  Which, we know, isn’t true. Here is the definitive list of Gifts Dad REALLY Wants for Father’s Day.

  • Alone time on the toilet.
  • A giant, loud vehicle advertised for its “towing capacity.”
  • Your sorry butt to move out of the basement.
  • A weight loss plan that still includes beer and fries.
  • Someone to go see “Top Gun: Maverick” with him . . . again.
  • More TV shows with Kevin Costner.
  • Unlimited permission to burp.
  • His high school football jersey to fit without cutting off circulation.
  • Nothing.  So he won’t have to get you anything for your birthday.
  • Hair.