Things People Would Do If They Could Do Stuff with Their Minds

Happy National Paranormal Day!  We asked people what they’d do if they had telekinetic powers and the answers were startling. 

  • Vaporize the woman in front of us taking forever to order Starbucks.
  • Start a house fire when our wife gets home from work and says “You won’t BELIEVE my day at the office today.”
  • Use a Ouija board to ask Alexander Hamilton if he really could rap.
  • Float the beer directly from the tap into our mouth.
  • Levitate our carry-on bag on the check-in scale so it weighs less than 50 pounds.
  • Manipulate the pitch so our kid always strikes out and quits baseball and we never have to sit through a Little League game again.