Happy National Paranormal Day! We asked people what they’d do if they had telekinetic powers and the answers were startling.
- Vaporize the woman in front of us taking forever to order Starbucks.
- Start a house fire when our wife gets home from work and says “You won’t BELIEVE my day at the office today.”
- Use a Ouija board to ask Alexander Hamilton if he really could rap.
- Float the beer directly from the tap into our mouth.
- Levitate our carry-on bag on the check-in scale so it weighs less than 50 pounds.
- Manipulate the pitch so our kid always strikes out and quits baseball and we never have to sit through a Little League game again.