Earth Day Tips for Rednecks

Happy Earth Day!  No matter who you are or where you live, you can do something to care for this great planet.  Yes, Sea Bass:  even you.  Like anything on today’s list of Earth Day Tips for Rednecks.

  • Switch to reusable spittoons.
  • Don’t leave the faucet running when you brush your tooth.
  • Carpool to WrestleMania.
  • Compost your mullet clippings.
  • Pick up trash when you’re out running.  Okay, walking.  Okay, Rascal scootering.
  • Only wash your Kid Rock tank top in cold water.
  • That thing on cinderblocks in your front yard?  Make it a Prius.
  • Install solar panels on the roof of your meth lab.
  • Calculate your carbon footprint.  Or the footprint you would have if you hadn’t lost it to diabetes.