Clever Things the Guy Who Found a Seven-Foot Snake in His Sofa Should’ve Said

A California man found a seven-foot snake hiding in his sofa.  What he said was “AHHHHH!!”  Which, while understandable, is nowhere near as smooth as anything on today’s list of Things the Guy Who Found a Seven-Foot Snake in His Sofa Should’ve Said.

  • “Well, this bites.”
  • “This is the LAST time I buy furniture from Petco.”
  • “I see I’m not the only one who’s rattled.”
  • “Do you belong to the Wu Fang Clan?”
  • “I don’t need any more toxicity in my life.”
  • “I’ve had it with this mother-bleepin’ snake in my mother-bleepin’ sofa!”
  • “Nice asp.”