A California man found a seven-foot snake hiding in his sofa. What he said was “AHHHHH!!” Which, while understandable, is nowhere near as smooth as anything on today’s list of Things the Guy Who Found a Seven-Foot Snake in His Sofa Should’ve Said.
- “Well, this bites.”
- “This is the LAST time I buy furniture from Petco.”
- “I see I’m not the only one who’s rattled.”
- “Do you belong to the Wu Fang Clan?”
- “I don’t need any more toxicity in my life.”
- “I’ve had it with this mother-bleepin’ snake in my mother-bleepin’ sofa!”
- “Nice asp.”