Signs You’re Too Old for an E-Scooter

High gas prices are behind a surge in e-scooter sales.  Although, some people should probably opt for a RASCAL scooter.  Especially if they recognize anything on today’s list of the . . . Top 5 Signs You’re Too Old for an E-Scooter.

  • When you buy it, the cashier says, “A present for your grandson?”
  • You keep losing the chin strap to your helmet in your turkey neck.
  • You install a blinker just so you can leave it on while you’re driving.
  • You put tennis balls on the ends of your handlebars.
  • Every time you hit a pothole, you have to park, walk back, and pick up your teeth.
  • All the time you save in traffic, you lose trying to step off without shattering a hip.
  • It goes up to 45 miles-per-hour.  Which you consider 43 miles-per-hour too fast.
  • When you ride past people, they laugh.  You know, like Will Smith should’ve done after that joke at the Oscars.
  • The only thing that whips in the wind as you ride is your Medic-Alert bracelet.