Things We Learned from the Super Bowl

The Los Angeles Rams won last night.  But, as always, the big game is about so much more than football, as you’ll see with today’s list of the . . . Top 5 Things We Learned from the Super Bowl.

  • The Rock is still on steroids.
  • Matt Damon’s mustache is worse than his crypto commercial.
  • The dinosaurs in the next “Jurassic Park” movie will be Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum.
  • Kevin Hart will do a commercial for anything.
  • Dolly Parton’s had so much plastic surgery she can no longer enunciate.
  • The Rams proved that you CAN buy a Super Bowl ring.
  • NBC evidently wants us to know it has a streaming service called “Peacock.”
  • The most enjoyable tackle of the night was on Pete Davidson.
  • The Pepsi halftime show could’ve been sponsored by Metamucil.