1. Prioritize learning over performance. When we focus on learning and growing, then we can take failures or lack of approval as an opportunity to improve. By doing this, we can hopefully recover more quickly from difficult emotions.
2. Adopt prosocial goals. By setting goals that are good for us and good for others, we may be able to avoid some of the hits to our self-esteem. So focus on how you serve others and add value to the world.
3. Reduce external contingencies. Research has shown that external contingencies—self-worth based on things like approval or appearance—are the worst for our self-esteem. Internal contingencies based on things like virtue and religiosity appear to be less harmful. So focus on decreasing external contingencies.
4. Focus on your strengths.
* What makes you special or unique?
* What do you do that no one else does?
* What are your positive qualities?
Regularly answering these questions can help you improve your self-worth.