Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Doomed

A poll finds that only 31% of long-distance relationships actually go the distance.  And you can also toss yours in the scrapyard if you recognize anything from today’s list of Signs Your Long-Distance Relationship Is Doomed.

  • Whenever you call, he can’t talk because he’s busy having sex.
  • You only speak to each other on FaceTime.  Even when she’s back in town.
  • When you show up unannounced at his apartment, he greets you with as much joy as Bill Belichick does a stupid question.
  • She can only talk in the morning.  You can only talk when you get phone privileges.
  • He insists the next time you meet in-person is February 29th.
  • You’ve gone from talking daily to talking weekly to . . . oh, wow it’s already 2022?!