Possibly-Useful Tips for Stress-Free Holiday Travel

 Despite the pandemic, gas prices, and the horror of being stuck in a car with family, 53% of Americans plan to travel this holiday.  To make your trip more tolerable, try anything from today’s list of the . . . Top 5 Tips for Stress-Free Holiday Travel.

  • Make your husband and kids take a separate car.
  • Scatter those long lines at the airport check-in counter by coughing loudly and then muttering something about “Omicron.”
  • Bring Clorox wipes to disinfect your airplane seat, tray and . . . if you’re flying Spirit . . . passengers.
  • Stay motivated during that boring drive to Nana’s by reminding yourself she’s rich and will be dead soon.
  • Save money on the number of bags you have to check by only packing essential narcotics.
  • Get to the airport early so you can hit the bar and be good and drunk by the time you square off with the flight attendant, who insists that you wear a mask.
  • Bring a good book to read.  Just remember to keep your other hand on the steering wheel.