Reasons Christmas Is Better When You’re Old

A poll finds that millennials have fonder Christmas memories they make as adults than children.  Which sounds odd, but will make a lot more sense after you check out today’s list of the Reasons Christmas is Better When You’re Older.

  • Under mistletoe, your grandkids HAVE to kiss you on the lips.
  • Back pain pills go great with eggnog.
  • You enjoy a candy cane more when you walk with a real one.
  • The extra light from the Christmas tree makes it easier to read John Grisham.
  • If you get run over by a reindeer, the kids have a great song to play at the funeral.
  • Your giant nativity scene means there’s less lawn to yell at kids to get off of.
  • Four words:  pumpkin spice denture cream.
  • Thanks to the clip-on antlers, your beige Buick looks even more like a reindeer.
  • The smell of a real Christmas tree neutralizes your nursing home’s stench of death.