Americans say being with family is the best part of the holidays. Which, of course, is a lie. But there are traditions people really do cherish right now, as you’ll see with today’s list of the Most Popular Holiday Traditions.
- Slamming the door on carolers.
- Using a pellet gun to deflate the neighbor’s yard Santa.
- Spiking grandpa’s eggnog then asking what he really thinks of women in the workplace.
- Putting those fake antlers on our cars that amuse nobody.
- That look on our kid’s face when they unwrap a giant box to find a pair of socks.
- Getting hammered at the office party and peeing on the boss’ desk.
- Making a gingerbread house. Then raising the rent so the gingerbread family has to move into their gingerbread van.
- Watching the rest of the street put up the same Christmas lights we had on our house all year.