Top Reasons You Should Drink More Alcohol

 A new study claims alcohol IMPROVES men’s performance in bed.  Experts say a drink raises your nitric oxide levels, which widens blood vessels and improves circulation—even “down there”. So add “It turns you into a sex machine” to today’s list of the Reasons You Should Drink More Alcohol. 

  • There’s no better excuse for avoiding holiday travel than dialysis.
  • Rolling that packed recycling bin to the street on trash day builds muscle tone.
  • When you spend all day leaning over the toilet, nobody notices you’re balding.
  • If a prospective employer is willing to overlook all those DUIs, you know that they REALLY want you.
  • Figuring out why you woke up in a bathtub full of ice with makeshift stitches across your abdomen is a fun way to play “detective.”
  • Well, Duh.  Have you listened to yourself sober?