Good Things About Using Social Media

  • Your super-witty takes on “Squid Game” are no longer confined to just the person next to you on the bus.
  • You can invite others to bask in the glory of your spinach salad.
  • Nobody on Instagram can tell that your view of Paris from a private jet is actually a toilet seat hanging over a picture of the Eiffel Tower.
  • You can bond with other creepy weirdos.  I mean, “people with similar interests.”
  • You can keep in touch with family . . . without actually keeping in touch with family.
  • Thanks to your weird uncle’s postings, you already know what he’ll drunkenly rant about at Thanksgiving.
  • Correcting other people’s grammar is a fun, easy way to say “I’m better than you.”
  • The more time you spend with online friends, the less time you spend thinking about your lack of real ones.