Great Things About Getting Old

A new poll finds that a third of older men are embarrassed by their increased need to pee.  But it’s a small price to pay when everything else about aging kicks ass. See what we mean with today’s list of the Best Things About Getting Old.

  • Nobody pesters you about watching Squid Game” since it’s not on CBS.
  • You quit wasting money on pricey shirts since you’ll just spill soup on them.
  • Dinner crowds are never an issue when you hit Applebee’s at 4:30.
  • All it takes is muttering something about an inheritance to get family members to rub your bunions.
  • Muggers leave you alone because who wants a flip phone and some lemon drops?
  • Kids think you’re a God when you pull a nickel from behind their ears.
  • You can get away with sex in public restrooms since people assume you always moan on the toilet.
  • You don’t care who winds up hosting Jeopardy because you’ll be dead soon.