Simple Ways to Be the Office Favorite

A poll finds that the number one reason Americans love their job is their coworkers.  And you could be that coworker they’re referring to!  Especially if you follow any of today’s list of the Top 5 Simple Ways to Be the Office Favorite.

  • Wipe down the copy machine after you take prints of your butt.
  • Be open and honest with coworkers.  They’ll reciprocate and before long, you’ll have enough information to blackmail them.
  • Wait until everyone’s gone for the evening before loading your trunk with toner cartridges.
  • Learn everyone’s name.  So you can look up their salaries after hacking the employee database.
  • Enter the office every morning with a smile.  Which shouldn’t be hard since you’re already drunk.
  • Don’t badmouth coworkers.  It’s more effective to write what you want to say about them on the toilet stall with a Sharpie.