Ways to Fill Time While Hiding in the Bathroom

A new poll finds that 42% of people use the bathroom to escape.  Which sounds great, until you run out of stuff to do.  Fortunately, we’re here with a fix, thanks to today’s list of the . . . Top Ways to Fill Time While Hiding in the Bathroom.

  • Alphabetize your anti-anxiety prescriptions.
  • Collect hair from your roommate’s brush to plant at a future crime scene.
  • Make a giant shaving cream beard and pretend you’re David Letterman.
  • Slice open a bar of Irish Spring and savor the green and white stripes like in the commercial.  (You’re welcome, Boomers.)
  • Brush your teeth.  Okay, tooth.
  • Use the nail file to give yourself a tattoo.  Just like prisoners!