Signs Your Next-Door Neighbor Is Possessed

Exorcisms in the U.S. are on the rise.  In fact, they may even be happening in your own neighborhood.  Here are The Top Signs Your Next-Door Neighbor Is Possessed.

  • She’s head of the neighborhood watch because her head can rotate 360 degrees.
  • She sleeps above her covers.  Four feet above her covers.
  • Demons can find his body on Airbnb.
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  • He knocks on your door and asks to borrow the lawn mower . . . in 17 different languages.
  • Priests go in . . . but they never come out.
  • He’s the only one at the dog park playing fetch with a three-headed hound with glowing red eyes and hunks of human flesh dangling from its fangs.
  • That time you thought they were watching “The Exorcist” on full volume?  Their TV wasn’t even on!
  • He doesn’t use propane or charcoal to light his grill . . . he uses his finger.
  • The ending of “The Exorcist” really bums her out.
  • She’s always asking if you want leftover pea soup.