Tips for Improving Your Cooking Skills

Are you an awful cook?  We can help you become more Martha Stewart-like if you check out this list of The Top Tips for Improving Your Cooking Skills.


  • Just because it’s a “pan” doesn’t mean you should prepare food in that thing that collects motor oil.
  • Find someone you don’t like very much as your taste-tester.
  • Call O.J. Simpson for knife recommendations.
  • If you lose a finger in a grinder, stop and take it out.
  • Remember, if you get really good at this, you may also get a TV show where you scream at wannabe chefs in a surly British accent!
  • Serve vegetables . . . but only if they’re deep fried and wrapped in bacon.
  • Make sure to keep your sea salt separate from your bath salts.
  • Tell yourself that microwaving cold pizza counts as cooking.
  • For enthusiastic reviews, sprinkle every dish with a dash of crack.
  • Make a list before you start cooking.  Be sure the first item is:  Tear up this damn list and order a pizza