Surprising New Things We’re Learning About the Moon

Today is Moon Day, so it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top Surprising New Things We’re Learning About the Moon.

  • It’s covered in more dust than the treadmill in your spare room.
  • It doesn’t have a “dark side,” just a “misunderstood side.”
  • The moon weighs 80 times less than the Earth.  And it never misses a chance to planet-shame Earth about it on Twitter.
  • The one in five people who think Covid vaccines contain microchips also believe the moon is made of cheese.
  • Its barren, cold atmosphere is why many call it “Space North Dakota.”
  • The moon is shrinking, which might explain why it just bought a Ferrari.
  • The craters were caused by too much oily food during its teen years.
  • There’s a huge supply of heavy metal in the moon’s South Pole.  Which means it’s not unlike the backseat of your burnout uncle’s conversion van.
  • You can dunk a basketball all day up there.