Things That Should Be on Your Summer Bucket List

Summer is officially here and that means you’ve got an agenda to complete.  Here are The Top Things That Should Be on Your Summer Bucket List.

  • Get back into the non-elastic pants you were wearing pre-quarantine.
  • Finish at least three paperbacks about a married white woman who suddenly vanishes.
  • Have random Tinder hookups WITHOUT masks.
  • Hold a small funeral for your brain cells after sitting through “Fast & Furious 9”.
  • Revisit places you haven’t seen in the past year:  The store, the gym, outside . . .
  • Start a line of Speedo knockoffs made with your leftover N95 masks.
  • Have a “Hot Girl Summer” that’s not caused by a fever.
  • End a camping trip five days early because everyone’s miserable.
  • Plan a picnic with a theme.  The theme being vodka.
  • Try an Impossible burger without broadcasting that you’re trying an Impossible burger.
  • Try to do something that will get you bullied online by Chrissy Teigen.
  • Go from worrying about catching Covid to your usual habit of worrying about catching STDs.
  • Get on TikTok so you can learn about other food to spread avocado on.
  • Everything that was on LAST summer’s bucket list.