Reasons Your Dad Is Getting Squat for Father’s Day

Sunday is Father’s Day, but some of you really couldn’t care less.  So you’ll probably identify with this list of The Top Reasons Your Dad Is Getting Squat for Father’s Day

  • His favorite saying throughout your childhood was, “Don’t blame me, he’s adopted!”

  • He played no role in your upbringing.  In his defense, have you met you?

  • The only thing he’s ever given you is the finger.

  • He named you “Oops.”

  • He came in second for Father of the Year . . . in a contest where the only other entrant was Alec Baldwin.

  • He greets all your dates by sharing the “hilarious” story of how you were conceived in a Tilt-A-Whirl.

  • The only time he ever calls you over for a hug is after he has quietly farted.

  • The pain he inflicts with his awful “dad jokes” is reason enough.

  • You haven’t had a job since March of last year.

  • He already has you.  What greater gift could he expect???