Signs Your School Picked the Wrong Graduation Speaker

Graduation speakers can be exciting and inspiring.  But some just flat out suck.  Here are The Top Signs Your School Picked the Wrong Graduation Speaker.

  • He says you can be anything you want . . . unless you’re a woman.

  • She can’t say that college is an important next step while keeping a straight face.

  • He tells you to follow your dreams . . . especially if those dreams involve sleeping with your commencement speaker.

  • She only hands diplomas to graduates who agree to sign up for her podcast.

  • He spends most of his speech talking about how much more successful he is than his ex.

  • He keeps casually reminding everyone that getting the vaccine will make you magnetic.

  • She warns you that the job market is almost as rough as the heroin bender she went on last night.

  • He says this is the first speech he’s given to inspire a group of people since the January 6th insurrection.