The Top Other Stupid Vanity Projects Jeff Bezos Can Blow His Billions On

Jeff Bezos will be flying into space on a rocket ship made by his company, Blue Origin.  After he does that, he can review this list of The Top Other Stupid Vanity Projects Jeff Bezos Can Blow His Billions On.

  • An escalator to Neptune.

  • A halfway-decent toupee.

  • A secret lair inside a volcano to complete his Dr. Evil cosplay.

  • Place giant Amazon smiles on the sides of the pyramids.

  • A vending machine that sells Ferraris.

  • Build a Roomba big enough to suck up mom-and-pop storefronts.

  • Buy the Amazon River.

  • Little cashmere sweaters for all his hundred-dollar bills.

  • A movie about his life . . . starring Chris Hemsworth, obviously.