Ways Wine Can Improve Your Life

Today is National Wine Day.  Find out how vino can be a great thing for you from this list of The Top Ways Wine Can Improve Your Life.

  

  • It’s as close to Italy as your broke self will ever get.
  • It may increase longevity . . . and if not, at least it makes a short life more bearable.
  • Red wine is good for the heart.  And it makes your Cheerios less soggy. 
  • You get to wear those witty T-shirts that identify you as a wine drinker and make everyone think, “Wow, this person must be super fun to hang out with!”
  • You develop a close bond with your dental hygienist since you have to see them every month to get those stains off your teeth.
  • If you spill wine on a date, it’s a great excuse to take your pants off.
  • If fights depression.  Too bad that depression comes roaring back the minute you look in the mirror. 
  • It contains antioxidants, which is a very long, impressive word.
  • Drinking a beer with your pinkie extended is just weird.
  • It gives you an air of sophistication while you watch SpongeBob. 
  • It’s full of sulfites, minerals, and, oh yeah:  alcohol.