Profanity-Free Insults

 It’s easy to tell someone off with a string of profanities.  But keeping it CLEAN takes some creativity.  Someone asked people to name their favorite insult that doesn’t include any swear words.  Here are a few we liked . . .

 1.  “You are impossible to underestimate.”

 2.  “You’re the reason shampoo has instructions.”

 3.  “I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are.”

 4.  “As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?”

 5.  “You’re the reason we need lifeguards in the gene pool.”

 6.  Even though we’re QUITE attractive, several people said, “You have a face for radio” is a good insult.

 7.  Several people from the South said “bless your heart” is the best backhanded insult.  It’s like saying “eff you” in a nice way, but it depends on the context.

 8.  “You couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.”

 9.  “Everyone makes mistakes, but you’re really abusing that privilege.”

 10.  Someone claimed that when you’re driving, giving someone a “thumbs down” is more effective than giving them the finger.