Here are The Top Signs You Live in the Middle of Nowhere.
- Every morning, your local newspaper is blank.
- A sign on the road that leads to your town says, “If you lived here, you’d be nowhere by now.”
- The Google Maps directions to your house include the phrase “Over yonder.”
- The first mile of any trip has to be by donkey.
- There’s only one bar in town . . . and zero bars on your cell phone.
- There are only 17 Starbucks within walking distance.
- You’ve got 10,000 miles on your car, and 150,000 miles on your four-wheeler.
- Your neighbors are too far away to complain about the stench of meth coming from your basement.
- You can’t even take a WALK without hitting a deer.
- You never have to worry about catching Covid from 5G signals.
- You call them “neighbors” . . . others call them “critters.”
- All your kids’ friends are imaginary.
- Your nearest neighbor is the Moon.