May is National Pet Month. It’s a celebration of the benefits that pets bring to people’s lives . . . but not all people. Here are The Top Reasons You Probably Shouldn’t Own a Pet.
- Based on the dead plants in your garden and the dead grandma in your spare bedroom, you’re not good at keeping things alive.
- You had a potbellied pig for a very short time. Now you have a year’s supply of bacon.
- When you realized you accidentally sat on your turtle, you still didn’t feel like getting up.
- You’re allergic to cat hair…and to responsibility.
- Your neighbors already assume you have a dog because you bark during sex.
- You prefer to be the only one allowed to greet people who enter your house by humping their leg.
- Your last pet was hit by a car, and it was a fish.
- You spent time in jail for organizing guinea pig hunts in your backyard.
- You might give it fleas.