Cinco de Mayo Fun “Facts”

In honor of today being Cinco de Mayo, please enjoy this list of The Top Cinco de Mayo Fun “Facts”.

 

  • Regular margaritas love to body shame skinny margaritas.
  • It’s just an excuse to day-drink.  Sorry.  That’s a Top Fun Fact About Marriage.
  • About 70% of Americans plan to celebrate it . . . while approximately zero percent of those Americans plan to learn about it.
  • Quoting Cheech & Chong movies does not count as “appreciating Mexican culture.”
  • Despite its cultural significance, it’s mostly celebrated by drunk white girls.
  • 40% of Americans wrongly believe Cinco de Mayo marks Mexican Independence Day.  And 100% are currently too drunk to give a crap.
  • Restaurant servers sure are grateful to be back at work and serving you endless chips and salsa all night for your lame $1 tip.