Today is Earth Day, so it’s a good time to check out this list of The Top Things the Earth Would Say If It Could Talk.
- I’ve got Leonardo DiCaprio fighting for me. Who do you got, Neptune?
- I am SO ready for you jackasses to move to Mars!
- When you destroy the Amazon rainforest, you’re giving me a Brazilian.
- And yes all you eight-year-olds, I’m glad I’m very far away from Uranus.
- I have really enjoyed this past year. Who’s up for COVID-21?
- I’m glad there’s a day to honor me, but how about some love for my friends, Wind and Fire.
- Knock it off with all that fighting, or I’ll turn right around and rotate the opposite direction!
- Does Pepcid work on molten lava?
- Seriously, is there anything on me that WASN’T made in China?
- I love all my oceans, but my all-time favorite is Billy.