The pandemic has been hard on everyone . . . even the filthy rich. Here are The Top Worst Things About Being a Billionaire During the Pandemic.
- Hey, YOU try finding a mask that matches your ascot!
- The Grubhub guy can’t ever break a million-dollar bill.
- Inviting women to your private island is a gamble when you can only see the top half of their face.
- Your facemask won’t stay up because the decorative diamonds are just too heavy.
- You have to keep your yachts six feet apart.
- The doctor says poor people tears aren’t a sufficient hand sanitizer.
- When everyone’s face is covered, you can’t tell the helicopter pilot from the food taster.
- Rolling in money has become even LESS sanitary.
- It’s impossible to find a masseuse willing to work on your submarine.
- Dom Perignon doesn’t make hand sanitizer.
- Having to bribe a senator using Zoom.
- People keep trying to break into your vault full of toilet paper.
- Getting a vaccine means standing in line with commoners. Ewww!