Great Things About Having a Dumb Kid

 

  • It’s nice to not have to sit through much of a spelling bee.
  • Your home isn’t cluttered up with pesky ribbons and awards.
  • He doesn’t question it when you tell him his Easter candy evaporated.
  • Drool buckets are cheaper than college.
  • He’ll never go hungry as long as the freezer is stocked with fish sticks.
  • It’s easy to help with his book reports since all you have to do is write, “You look for Waldo.”
  • She and her sisters can star in a reality show for E!
  • He thinks you’re a wizard when you clap twice and the lamp turns on.
  • If she asks for a pet you can just give her a Brillo pad and tell her it’s SpongeBob.
  • You can re-wrap the same Christmas gifts every year, and he never catches on.
  • You can convince him that rock rips up paper and win ANY dispute.
  • No student loan debt.
  • You can give him an old, used Atari and tell him it’s the new Xbox.
  • You’ll never have to worry about him getting a headache from thinking too much.
  • He has a great chance of getting elected to Congress.