Do’s and Don’ts for Easter Weekend

Easter weekend is upon us, and to help you make sure it’s awesome, check out this list of The Top Do’s and Don’ts for Easter Weekend.

  

  • Do hunt for eggs . . . just not on Gwyneth Paltrow’s website.
  • Do make sure the grass in your kid’s Easter basket is smokable.
  • Don’t hide eggs beneath Joe Biden’s dog.  Unless you hate your kid.
  • Don’t tell your kid that Easter was cancelled because the Easter Bunny was arrested for selling meth.
  • Do store extra Peeps in your car to use as a patch if your tire pops.
  • Don’t use egg dye to color your hair like Rudy Giuliani does.
  • Do make sure the Easter Bunny your kids pose with looks terrifying.  It makes a better picture.
  • Do fill your kid’s Easter basket with candy, chocolate, and anything else you’ll eat once you put them down for a nap.
  • Do be creative when coloring eggs . . . just avoid doing one with a confederate flag on it.
  • Do wear an Easter bonnet, especially if it’s poker night.
  • If you have daughters, DON’T invite Matt Gaetz!