Easter weekend is upon us, and to help you make sure it’s awesome, check out this list of The Top Do’s and Don’ts for Easter Weekend.
- Do hunt for eggs . . . just not on Gwyneth Paltrow’s website.
- Do make sure the grass in your kid’s Easter basket is smokable.
- Don’t hide eggs beneath Joe Biden’s dog. Unless you hate your kid.
- Don’t tell your kid that Easter was cancelled because the Easter Bunny was arrested for selling meth.
- Do store extra Peeps in your car to use as a patch if your tire pops.
- Don’t use egg dye to color your hair like Rudy Giuliani does.
- Do make sure the Easter Bunny your kids pose with looks terrifying. It makes a better picture.
- Do fill your kid’s Easter basket with candy, chocolate, and anything else you’ll eat once you put them down for a nap.
- Do be creative when coloring eggs . . . just avoid doing one with a confederate flag on it.
- Do wear an Easter bonnet, especially if it’s poker night.
- If you have daughters, DON’T invite Matt Gaetz!