Signs That Spring Is Here

Spring has arrived, and if you look around the evidence is everywhere.  Here are The Top Signs It’s Spring.



  • Moms and dads of college kids partying in Daytona Beach are preparing to become grandparents.
  • Andrew Cuomo groped the Easter Bunny.
  • You start planting things in your garden besides marijuana.
  • Tiger Woods landed his SUV in a ravine filled with blooming flowers.
  • Old people on Zoom now can’t figure out how to turn off the bunny filter.
  • People everywhere are wearing their most festive Hawaiian-print PPE.
  • The regular season hasn’t even started, and the Baltimore Orioles are already mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.
  • The Internet declares Jack Frost CANCELED.
  • Rudy Giuliani is using his extra hair dye to color Easter eggs.
  • Husbands transition from getting incessantly nagged to shovel the snow, to getting incessantly nagged to cut the grass.  
  • You’re on your annual all-Cadbury diet.