Reasons You Didn’t Watch “The Grammys”

“The 2021 Grammy Awards” aired last night on CBS, but you didn’t watch.  Here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t Watch “The Grammys” . . .

  

  • You traded your TV for your immunocompromised neighbor’s spot in the vaccine line.
  • The throaty whisper of Billie Eilish leaves you grasping for lozenges.
  • You’re under 70, so you never know what’s happening on CBS.
  • You’re still reeling from that interview with the Duke and Duchess of Who-Gives-a-Damn.
  • You were still spending your $1,400 stimulus money on hookers and blow.
  • It generally takes you three days to re-learn everything after you turn the clocks forward an hour.
  • You’re too busy trying to free Britney Spears.
  • You were using your time-tested formula for filling out your basketball tournament bracket.  Which requires hours of flipping a coin.
  • There was no coded message from Q telling you to watch.
  • You appreciate good music.