Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards

If you’re going to pick up a Valentine’s Day card, stay with a traditional Hallmark type.  And avoid anything like you’ll hear on this list of The Top Rejected Valentine’s Day Cards.


  • I know that we’ve been stuck at home . . . so this Valentine’s Day just leave me alone!
  • In my eyes you can do no wrong . . . except when your fat spills out of that thong.
  • You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen . . . but I’d throw you over for a Covid vaccine.
  • I love you more than anything on earth . . . which hopefully makes up for my lack of length and girth.
  • I love the fact that you’re woke . . . but don’t expect a Valentine’s Day gift because I’m flat broke.
  • Forget kisses, smiles, laughs or hugs . . . all I want from you is a bag of drugs.