Reasons You Didn’t Watch the Super Bowl

 The number of viewers for yesterday’s Super Bowl was estimated to be over 186 million.  But you weren’t one of them.  Here are The Top Reasons You Didn’t Watch the Super Bowl.



  • Your age range isn’t between 95 and 102.  So, you don’t watch CBS.
  • Watching Tom Brady without Bill Belichick is like watching Luke Skywalker run through the swamp without Yoda in his little backpack.
  • You don’t have any interest in a bowl you can’t smoke.
  • The only things you ever cheer in Florida are strippers.
  • You’re not interested in the game itself, and since it’s 2021, you don’t like watching commercials, either.
  • You don’t think it’s safe for senior citizens to play quarterback.
  • There’s something unsettling about watching Andy Reid talking into a laminated diner menu.
  • Thanks to that new Netflix show, you’ve ditched football in favor of chess.
  • You’re a cat.  Sorry, that’s a reason you didn’t watch the Puppy Bowl.
  • The closest you get to pro football is adding Gatorade to your vodka.
  • You went blind after being hit in the eye with a Jewish space laser.