What with all the snow, and the chance of another storm this weekend, I thought it’d be a good time for this list of The Top Tips for Staying Safe During a Blizzard.
- Don’t travel unless it’s absolutely necessary . . . like if you haven’t had your Starbucks yet.
- Wear several layers to protect yourself from frostbite. And any Jewish space lasers.
- Stay tuned in to the local news . . . unless you have HBO Max and you can binge-watch “Friends”.
- Keep a home emergency kit full of essentials like water, batteries, and family sized Twister.
- Be sure that you get “plowed” before your driveway does.
- Locate a Grubhub driver who uses a dog sled team.
- If you go out and make a snowman, make sure you cover his carrot nose with a facemask.
- If it looks like you could end up stranded, try your best not to be with Jack Nicholson.
- Be in a state that DOESN’T HAVE BLIZZARDS.