Things G.I. Joe Would Say If He Could Talk

Since today is G.I. Joe Day, we thought it’d be a good time for this list of The Top Things G.I. Joe Would Say If He Could Talk.


I used to have real hair in the ’70s, just like John Travolta.

  • To be honest, the only war I fought was Operation Don’t Be a Chew Toy.

  • I went from 12 inches down to 3.75.  Talk about shrinkage!

  • If I’m ever in “Toy Story”, I hope whoever plays me has a gruff, manly voice.  Like Miley Cyrus.

  • Why are you so shocked a plastic person’s talking?  Haven’t you seen “Real Housewives”?!?

  • By the way, if you were wondering, Barbie’s boobs are fake.

  • Look, I wasn’t trained to take out no Jewish space lasers!

  • I don’t get it:  I’m a total manly badass . . . but Barbie prefers KEN?!?

  • If I get redeployed to Iraq, I’m faking bone spurs.

  • Ouch!  Even I can’t stand stepping on those little green army men.

  • There’s a reason none of us come with a confederate flag, you hillbillies!