Since today is G.I. Joe Day, we thought it’d be a good time for this list of The Top Things G.I. Joe Would Say If He Could Talk.
I used to have real hair in the ’70s, just like John Travolta.
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To be honest, the only war I fought was Operation Don’t Be a Chew Toy.
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I went from 12 inches down to 3.75. Talk about shrinkage!
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If I’m ever in “Toy Story”, I hope whoever plays me has a gruff, manly voice. Like Miley Cyrus.
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Why are you so shocked a plastic person’s talking? Haven’t you seen “Real Housewives”?!?
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By the way, if you were wondering, Barbie’s boobs are fake.
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Look, I wasn’t trained to take out no Jewish space lasers!
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I don’t get it: I’m a total manly badass . . . but Barbie prefers KEN?!?
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If I get redeployed to Iraq, I’m faking bone spurs.
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Ouch! Even I can’t stand stepping on those little green army men.
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There’s a reason none of us come with a confederate flag, you hillbillies!