Reasons You Should Have Stayed in Bed Today

Since today is Blue Monday, supposedly the saddest day of the year, it’s the perfect time for this list of The Top Reasons You Should Stay in Bed Today.


  • 2021 has yet to establish trust or the impression that it’s any different from 2020.
  • You can just sense that your pillows need a few extra cuddles today.
  • Your laptop is next to you and there’s a thing called PornHub.
  • Nothing good ever came from putting on pants.
  • You’re all out of booze and too hung over to go to the liquor store.
  • If you can make it 24 hours, you don’t have to face the world until Tuesday!
  • If you don’t get out of bed, you don’t have to look at your sorry self in the mirror.
  • Even God took a day to rest . . . and order a burrito supreme on Grubhub.
  • Your New Year’s resolution was to get bed sores.
  • Netflix ain’t gonna binge itself.