Things We “Know” About the COVID-19 Vaccine

With the first COVID-19 vaccine shots being given this week in the U.S., it’s a good time for this list of Possibly Ture things we “Know” so far about the COVID-19 Vaccine.

  • You’re only eligible right now if you’re a frontline worker, an at-risk individual, or Beyoncé.
  • To guarantee that people like you and me take it, it’s in the form of gravy.
  • It’ll only kill you if you mix it with Pop Rocks and Coca-Cola.
  • If you get the shot before the holiday season ends, you can get it eggnog-flavored.
  • Side effects include nausea, body aches, and chills.  Sorry.  That’s a Top Thing We Know About the McRib.
  • The least likely segment of the population to line up for it are women named “Karen.”
  • It’s twice as effective with a bleach chaser.