Tips for Decorating Your Home for Christmas

Planning on putting up Christmas decorations this weekend?  If so, please take a minute to check out this list of The Top Tips for Decorating Your Home for Christmas.


  • Remember that arranging the lights on your roof to say “Screw 2020” is probably against some local ordinance or other.
  • Instead of a Christmas tree, just stack up all the bourbon bottles you’ve emptied this year.
  • A vase made of hundreds of tiny candy canes is a great way to tell others, “I’m creative!”  And also, “I’m very lonely.”
  • Instead of throwing away burnt-out Christmas tree lights, stick them under your shirt for a pair of festive holiday nipples.
  • Don’t stress if you lack the space to display all your decorations.  Nobody wants to visit your house anyway.
  • Build an entire North Pole playset using your empty Amazon Prime boxes.
  • Eggnog and extension ladders don’t mix.
  • Leave signed consent forms under the mistletoe.
  • Just keep it all packed away until NEXT Christmas, man.