Things Beer Would Say If It Could Talk

 Many of us enjoy beer, but would we still enjoy it if it spoke to us?  You decide with this list of The Top Things Beer Would Say If It Could Talk.


  • If you can consume ten of me while doing it, is bowling really a sport?
  • I look forward to seeing you again all over your floor in a few hours.
  • Breakfast?  Really?!?  Hey, you do you, Justice Kavanaugh!
  • Yes, I’m a glass of Dos Equis, but you’re the FARTHEST THING from The Most Interesting Man in the World!
  • Yes, your Coors Light is talking.  THAT will teach you for mixing beer with acid.
  • Hey tequila, ready to play good cop, bad cop?
  • I’m guessing you’re a Tastes Great fella since that belly tells me I’m obviously not Less Filling.
  • As a Michelob Ultra, I can tell you, if you want to have sex, don’t let anyone see you sipping me.
  • Why was I born a craft beer and destined to be consumed entirely by pretentious fops sporting wool scarves and ironic mustaches?
  • Hey, you’re lucky I’m talking to you . . . because with that face, not one woman in this place will.
  • Well, I’m off to destroy your liver!
  • What can I say . . . I’m just a HOPPY guy!  Yep, I got dad jokes!
  • I don’t appreciate you naming your belly after me.
  • Get some help, dude!  You’re having a conversation with a freakin’ beer!